Are You Worthy!
by DoCtOr CrAcKxPrOfEsSoR cRaCk
Summary: Summary- Thor asks Manhattan a very important question. (COMPLETELY A CRACK FIC, NO SERIOUSNESS WHATSOEVER)


**This is a crack fic, obviously not serious in anyway, this account is a joint account with me and a friend, and who knows, maybe this will be our only crack fic, maybe we'll make more. Anyway;**

Summary- Thor asks Manhattan a very important question.

**WARNINGS:** Satire, mature themes, silliness, Thor being Thor

* * *

It was a fine, sunny afternoon in Downtown Manhattan, the birds were chirping, dogs barking, and card honking as they narrowly missed each other. High up on the side of an apartment complex, a dirty window squeaks open and a balding head pokes out. A wrinkled hand follows suit, holding a small watering can. It tips over a potted fern, sprinkling fresh water on to the thirsty leaves.

"There you go my lovely, all better now."

His attention is turned from his precious little plant to a sudden mighty bellow;

"ARE YOU WORTHY?"

And on the streets below a fairly well muscled man runs down the road with nothing covering his behind. Or his front.

"... I'll never understand the lingo these kids use today..." The elderly man mumbles under his breath, shaking his head as he withdraws back into his apartment.

"Mr. Lee! It's rent day!"

Down on the streets below, a blonde Asgardian barrels down the streets, a crazed look in his eyes as he stops in front of a woman on her lunch break. She blinks in shock and surprise as he yells in her face;

"ARE YOU WORTHY?!"

Before he takes off once more.

"What...?"

Thor continues on his journey, stopping another person and gripping the man's shoulders, giving him a good shake. "ARE YOU WORTHY?!"

"Aaaahh?! What?!"

His question goes unanswered as the prince takes off down the concrete jungle.

The citizens of New York watch in shock and confusion as one of the saviors of Earth streaks down their streets. Maybe he's been away from home for too long...? Or maybe it's the air, could be different in Asgard and it's just gone to his head now. They really hoped this wasn't what Thor was usually like, it would just be a bit too much to handle, what with the God of Thunder being your friendly neighborhood streaker.

Thor jumps in front of a group of people, arms stretched out and knees bent slightly. "ARE YOU WORTHY?!"

"Worthy of what?!"

"Dude needs to put some clothes on..." One of them whispers to another.

"ARE YOU WORTHY?!"

"Of what?!"

"OF MY MIGHTY HAMMER!"

They stare at the blonde man. "... Your hammer...?"

"YES! MY MIGHTY HAMMER!"

"He's not holding a hammer..."

All at once, the groups eyes drop down to stare at, well... Thor's Mighty Hammer.

"Oh."

With a mighty laugh, the now dubbed "crazy man" sprints down the streets. He throws open the doors to a small fast food place and holds his arms out to the sides. "ARE YOU—!" He pauses, nose wrinkling from the smell of cheap Americanized tacos and burritos. "NO! YOU ARE NOT!"

He retreats quickly, turning and pointing up at the neon sign that read; "TACO BELL".

"YOU, BELL OF TACO, ARE NOT WORTHY!"

"Thor! What the _hell_ are you doing?!"

Hs blinks, looking over to see Jane staring at him like he grew a second head.

"AH! JANE FOSTER! YOU ARE WORTHY!"

Jane takes a startled step back, eyes a bit wide. "... Okaaay... Worthy of what...?"

"OF MY MIGHTY HAMMER OF COURSE! WHAT ELSE?!"

"Uh-huh..." She glances around at the shocked, blushing people. "We should get you do,e clothes, yeah?"

"BUT MY DEAR JANE! THEN NO ONE WOULD BE ABLE TO SEE AND GAZE UPON MY HAMMER OF MIGHTINESS!"

"I don't think they want to!"

"I dunno, Jane, it is pretty... _Mighty_."

The scientist turns to her assistant with an embarrassed glare. "Darcy! Really?!"

"I'm just sayin'!"

Jane rubs at her temple with a deep sigh. "Where are the Avengers when you need them?"

"Sorry we're late, he's really fast and we got caught in traffic." Captain America says, jogging up to the woman's side.

"Yeah, he's surprisingly fast." Pants out Hawk Eye. "Alright big guy, time to put your pants on."

Thor sticks his tongue out. "NEVER!" Then promptly runs away.

"..." Hawk Eye hangs his head down as his arms droop to his sides with a resigned sigh. Now they had to chase him again...

All eyes turn to Loki as the God of Mischief steps out of a taxi.

"... What?"

"Your brother is insane."

"He's not my brother, I'm adopted. I'm from Yodenheim, no relation whatsoever." He says and looks around nonchalantly.

"I think it's time we call _him_." Hawk Eye whispers to Captain America.

Captain America sighs deeply. "Do we have to?" He whines out. "He's so annoying... And... Know-it-all-y..."

Hawk Eye gives the man a pointer look.

"Dammit... Fine! Call the bastard..."

With a nod, the archer pulls his cell phone out and dials Iron Man's number.

"We need your help."

* * *

Tony Stark flies through the air, laughing from the call he just received. "I love that big lug." He says with amusement as he gives a shake of his head. He soon posts the naked Asgardian running rampant in Manhattan's streets. "There you are."

Iron Man touches, holding a hand out in front of his body. "Halt!"

"MAN OF IRON! ARE YOU WORTHY?!"

Thor rushes for the man in the metal suit, but his foot catches on its twin and he trips, face-planting on to the road. He slides forward a bit before his body comes to a halt.

"..."

Tony stares down at the man with a deadpanned expression. His hand drops to his side when he hears loud snoring rumble in Thor's nasal canal. With a deep sigh, his mask lifts off his face and he looks to the side to see Captain America and Hawk Eye rushing over with clothes, obviously for the now sleeping Asgardian.

"No more caffeine for Thor."


End file.
